What Did You Expect?? by Paul Tripp

Protecting your marriage matters. Normally, Row and I read the bible together at night. But one of the things we’ve done in the last few of years is – for a period of time – replaced our nightly bible reading with a different book that will help us to protect our marriage. It’s been a really useful practise. The latest book we’ve been reading is brilliant! It’s called, What Did You Expect?? Redeeming the Realities of Marriage.

It’s written by Paul Tripp. He’s a dude. I’ve recently started following him on Twitter and most of his tweets are retweetable (for non-twits, that’s a compliment!!). Here’s how the publishers Crossway summarise the book:

Marriage, according to Scripture, will always involve two flawed people living with each other in a fallen world. Yet, in pastor Paul Tripp’s professional experience, the majority of couples enter marriage with unrealistic expectations, leaving them unprepared for the day-to-day realities of married life.

This unique book introduces a biblical and practical approach to those realities that is rooted in God’s faithfulness and Scripture’s teaching on sin and grace. “Spouses need to be reconciled to each other and to God on a daily basis,” Tripp declares. “Since we’re always sinners married to sinners, reconciliation isn’t just the right response in moments of failure. It must be the lifestyle of any healthy marriage.”

What Did You Expect? presents six practical commitments that give shape and momentum to such a lifestyle. These commitments, which include honestly facing sin, weakness, and failure; willingness to change; and embodying Christ’s love, will equip couples to develop a thriving, grace-based marriage in all circumstances and seasons of their relationship.

It’s a book all about having right expectations in marriage. The first 4 chapters are worth the price of the book alone. They are foundational to what follows in the rest of the book. The best thing is how grounded these chapters (and indeed the chapters to follow) are in the gospel. Tripp shows how an understanding of God’s grace shown to sinners in Jesus will change how we relate to our husband/wife. It’s not just a book with handy tips and hints for a happy marriage, but the answer is always within the framework of the gospel.

Tripp proposes 6 commitments to help shape the grace-filled marriage:

1. We will give ourselves to a regular lifestyle of confession and forgiveness.
2. We will make growth and change our daily agenda.
3. We will work together to build a sturdy bond of trust.
4. We will commit to building a relationship of love.
5. We will deal with out differences with appreciation and grace.
6. We will work to protect our marriage

This book has been brilliant at helping us to strengthen our 7-years-young marriage. I thoroughly recommend this book to newly weds and old-timers alike. Likewise, it would be a useful book to read before getting married.

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